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Thanks to Heysel for the following public service announcement.

You have been reading too much of Sven Hassel, when...

Your collection of all 14 book sets, include versions in Swahili, Chinese and Esperanto.

    You have a cat, and you have named it:
  • Stalin
  • Dynamite
  • Ulrich
Your response to your friends opinion always starts with a question: "Has crazy monkey bit you in the arse?!"

Several pubs in your neighborhood have banned you, because you refuse to drink your beer without a splash of Gin and 11 Juniper berries.

  • Several pubs in your neighborhood have banned you, because you refuse to drink your beer from anything other than a flower vase.

    You have been banned in all pubs within 100 miles range.

    While doing your military service, you insist persistently to call your commanding officers as gold-Pheasants.

      While visiting a zoo, you see a bear, you:
    • Smuggle a six-pack inside the cage
    • Broke in to the zoo in middle of the night to rescue the bear from the captivity of evil uniformed savages.
    • You run up to the managers office and try to convince that the bears real name is Rasputin.
    You begin to carry an iron wire in your pocket. Just in case.

    Your favorite pick-up line is: "Hello girls, here I am again. Hot as hell. My balls are boiling. I love you. Let's get something to drink in a hurry, and then we'll go to the bunks according to good custom when decent people meet."

    Your wife leaves, because you insist on wearing boots and belt in bed, when making love.

    Your vocabulary selection has seriously weakened: - high heels are now "whore sandals" and all girls are "sheet acrobats".

    You start to like living outdoors in a tent in -40 Celsius weather.

    You are convinced that you are capable in appendix removal operation.

    Your favorite food is Mashed Potatoes with Diced Pork.

    You consider lice as pets.

      You have 6 children, and their names are:
    • Willie,
    • Alfred,
    • Joseph,
    • Wolfgang,
    • Julius
    • and Sven.
    • Regardless of sex.
    You never leave home without a copy of Sven book.

    You join in Sven Hassel e-mail list.

    You think: "what the hell!" - and start to read another Sven

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